Okay, so let me start off by saying that my depression hasn’t been the best here of late. I know that I need to keep up with this blog no matter if my depression or PTSD is acting. I have been trying to post but I am myself worst critic. I know what I need to do. I am trying to keep up on my school work and a few other things. I lost my job recently. So, that’s not a good thing. I know that I need to find a new one but at the same time I need to focus on my schooling. But now that I don’t have a job I can try to start uploading more. I am trying to find a way to do what I love and this blog. So, I think I am going to be uploading more of my writings. I find it best to write random stories before working on your main stories. I call them throw away stories. You don’t need to finish them just set a timer and just write how your day was or how something didn’t turn out right. I try to do this daily. No matter what problems I have. Doesn’t always work but it gets me back into the writing mindset. The best for a writer to be. You don’t have to be a tortured soul to be a writer.
Let me tell you some things about me and what i am like. In my household it is a known fact that I don’t have a very good self esteem. I try hard everyday to see the positive in that day as well as what I did right. But most days I don’t succeed and seeing the positive in that day or what I did right. Is normally one or the other never both. Sleeping is something that I either do too much or I don’t do enough of. It’s very hard for me to stay awake during the day and it is very hard for me to go to sleep at night. Some say that i am a night owl. I’ve had jobs that were over night and i couldn’t stay awake through them, but i couldn’t stay awake through a day-shift job. Which leads into me having more self esteem problems. It’s a never ending pit. I know most of you probably don’t want to hear about this but i need to give you guys some understanding into the way that i am. Depression is a life long battle. That most people can overcome it but some can not. I’ve been living with depression for eight years now. On and off medication. I have never stopped taking my meds unless I was told to. That’s how I’ve been. There is high’s and low’s that i deal with being bipolar. If you would like to know more about them and how they affect me like and comment on this post, telling me to make more posts on this topic. I am open to just about anything.
On the topic of the book reviews. I love to read books. I love sharing what I like about a book. The thing is that I take a long time to read books, when I have a lot of school work. So, I am going to keep doing the book reviews but I am not going to do them ever month like I want to. I will be doing them when I can. I don’t know how often they will be but I do know that I will keep doing them. Now, working on myself esteem is going to be a hard thing to do. I know that I can do it. But it is going to take sometime. I don’t know how long but I will be working on it for the rest of my life. It isn’t something that can be fixed without changing somethings. I know I’m kind of going on a rant here but it’s not really a bad rant. It’s more of an update on what I’m planning to do with the blog going forward. This is also explanations of why certain things haven’t been done that I said I would do. I really hope that my readers are understanding and are willing to work with me on some things. As long as I keep posting on my blog. I’m trying to keep myself awake so that I can see the sunrise and take photos of it. I want to make this a full-time job but I don’t know how and in order to do that I need to learn more about SEO and web hosting. My head is hurting because I am thinking so hard on this. But I am going to be buying a web hosting thing soon in hopes to get more readers. Well that’s all I got to say for now. I love you guys. Have a good night and a good day.
Always remember to be happy because you never know who’s falling in love with your smile. ~Unknown