So, I was told to read a book about self-esteem by Matthew McKay. I don’t know what to think about it. I have a low self-esteem, so, I was told to read this book because it should help me with that. I don’t know much about how to raise someone self-esteem but I do know that this book could help with it. I know that it did help me a little bit but my self-critic is a lot hard on me. I have been trying to build my self-esteem, but every progress that I make gets shot down because of the words that my stepdad said to me before he cut me out of his and my mother’s life. I don’t want to write it down because I know that it shouldn’t affect me but it does. I know that I have tried challenging it by telling me all the things I have done right. The thing is, it isn’t his fault that I have a low self-esteem, it’s my fault because I let what everyone says about me defined me. I know I shouldn’t do that but it’s easier said than done. you just can’t stop something that you have done most of your life. I know that I can’t even help what I do but it still makes me feel like I am worthless. The reason why I feel that way is because I know I shouldn’t let them get to me. My inner critic is the worst thing that I have. I wish I was different who I am. I always need to be told that I am doing okay. I shouldn’t need this but for some reason I do. I’m not a bad person, but I do things that aren’t good and that’s okay. I don’t feel like I am a bad person. I just feel that I don’t fit in with anyone. My fiance is the only person that tells me that I am beautiful but for some reason, I don’t believe that. I don’t know why but it is hard to believe that I am beautiful. I want to believe it but something is stopping me. I am wanting to feel better about myself. So, I am starting to read self-help books. I was told to read this book, so, it was kind of a wake-up call. I need to change the way that I look at and feel about myself. I am going to work on my inner critic and let you know how that goes. I will be giving an update within my Sunday posts. I hope that I can change how I think and feel about myself.
Have a good night and have a good day.